We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
