i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
