We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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