and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
