Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
