I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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