I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
