Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
