I hate your face
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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