ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
