you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
