He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
