Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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