She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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