do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Too much gin, very little bucket
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
