If that was your dad, he is hot
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
