it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
