I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
