Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
