its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
