Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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