Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
