He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
