Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
