her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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