My friends, they love my intelligence
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
