I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
