I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
