why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
