no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
