I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
