i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
