Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So vagazzling was a success
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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