I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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