Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
