My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
