We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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