I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
