Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
