I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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