Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
