And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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