can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
