i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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