I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i was born a porn star she said
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
