worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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