she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
