thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
