so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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