Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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