I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
