sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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