im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
