I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
