One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
