i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
